Henley told patrons that she was having conversations with all of their deceased relatives. She then sat down and offered to do individual psychic readings but became increasingly agitated as they claimed not to know any of the people she was communicating with.

Henley is facing charges of criminal damage after breaking several crystal ornaments in the outlet that she claimed were interfering with her psychic abilities.

Henley attended drug rehabilitation previously, in 2012 following an incident three days before she was due to attend Glastonbury Music Festival.

A source close to the KHN reported that Henley had consumed a large number of hallucinogens that she had purchased for the outdoor festival on behalf of herself and three other friends. The group had insisted that she check into rehab after they found all of the drugs were missing.

The post Warrant of arrest issued to woman for drug-induced hallucinations appeared first on Knobble Hill News.

Davies was walking back to his home in Sloane Ave. In the opposite direction Jane Sexton, 24 was en route to visit her boyfriend.

“I saw Father Christmas walking towards me and beamed him a great big smile. I may not be a child anymore but I still get excited when I see Santa. I never expected to see quite so much of him.

“As he got closer I noticed he was fiddling with his suit. Finally he revealed his Christmas baubles to me and shouted ‘Secret Santa!'” Sexton told the court.

Magistrate Gillian Wright noted that this was Davies first criminal offence in his lifetime.

“I’m not sure what came over you Mr Davies but this was not in the spirit of Christmas,” Judge Wright said before sentencing Davies to 200 hours community service.

The post Flashing Santa gets community service appeared first on Knobble Hill News.

Mudge allegedly sent an image of his genitals decorated with mistletoe and holly

The first incident is said to have taken place on Saturday, December 24 at 23:34 last year. Mudge allegedly sent an image of his genitals decorated with mistletoe and holly to an unnamed girl, age 14.

The second took place on December 25 at 03:04 last year. Mudge sent several text messages via Whatsapp, a social messaging application to a second girl, age 16. It was also alleged that Mudge posted explicit messages to the public Facebook page of the girl. The messages were later deleted.

The case was adjourned until Monday, March 12, but Judge Peter Weir told Mudge: “These are very serious offences, especially given the that the victims are siblings and both are minors.

“I cannot say what the outcome will be but all options will be considered, including custody.”

Mudge’s barrister, Simon Reeves-Williams, requested an adjournment to prepare a psychological report on his client.

“My client has been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and operates at a mental age well below 18,” said Mr Reeves-Williams. “For the court to make a fair judgement his background and psychological mindset at the time of the incident must be made clear.”

Mudge was granted bail on condition that he makes no contact with anyone under the age of 16, without the supervision of their guardians, and has no social-media interaction with anyone under 18.

The post Teenager warned he could face prison after “Festive” sex text offences appeared first on Knobble Hill News.

“The update to statutory guidance follows concerns that current advice, last set in 2000, is out-of-date and does not address “sexting”, online safety and cyberbullying, as well as mental wellbeing and LGBT issues”

The post Pastor Davies weighs in on revamped Sex Education curriculum appeared first on Knobble Hill News.

“I have come to the decision to resign as president of the republic with immediate effect.”

For the next 25 minutes Zuma rambled seriously. The words South Africa was waiting to hear, sandwiched between rhetoric. Proudly served the nation. White monopoly. Thanks to all.

“I have come to the decision to resign as president of the republic with immediate effect.” There they were. Delivered as calm as a Hindu cow. Zuma didn’t look up. Buried in the pages of his speech.

Before the official resignation, as the walls closed in on the former President, the entire nation could see the writing. All bar one, the man in the highest office. Standing atop his ivory tower, he defied logic, clawing to power. The mood smelt familiar, Zimbabwean.

There was a televised statement to the nation on State Television. “Hell no, I won’t go!” But in the end, like Mugabe, he had to.

“I fear no motion of no confidence or impeachment,” those words belied Jacob Zuma’s intentions.

The former president couldn’t help himself. I’ll tell you exactly why I resigned. I’ll tell you that’s it’s got nothing to do with post-office perks, or being ousted in a humiliating vote of no-confidence. And like that, the nation heard exactly the reasons why he resigned. In his own words, bound by lies.

The post A liar to the very end appeared first on Knobble Hill News.

BRETT HATTON-JONES IS FUCKING MY WIFE!

Once the initial shock had worn off, one question formed on the lips of everyone at the scene: exactly whose wife was Brett Hatton-Jones, HOD of the St Agnes music department, running extra murals with?  As more and more parents arrived at the drop-off point, events in the car park quickly escalated into a full-scale gossip-fest.  Girls gathered in huddles to snigger and speculate, whilst mothers covered their mouths in shock.  One rubber-necking parent, attempting a surreptitious drive-by, ploughed her SUV into the azalea bushes.

Grimly intent upon keeping his head while all about him were losing theirs, headmaster Bruce McDougal,  tasked some of the more agile learners with climbing the gate to dismantle the scandalous banner.  Ever the eager, Mr. Lee Franklin was on hand to give the girls a boost.  Meanwhile the deputy head proceeded with plan B, and darted off to locate a ladder.

All the while, Hatton-Jones, wearing the expression of a smug self-satisfied Lothario, remained remarkably calm under scrutiny, idly smoking a Camel Plain while chatting with saxophonist teacher Jeff Judge.  At one point, with a smirk, he casually remarked to Judge, “I have know idea who wrote that.  I fuck a lot of wives, including my own.”

Pulling up to reception in her Porsche Cayenne, one of the matric girl’s moms Zamafuthi Chonco, whose husband currently serves on the Governing Board was quick to launch into a vitriolic character assassination of Hatton-Jones.  Joining a group of thunderstruck tiger moms who had gathered in the foyer to speak to school receptionist, Sandy Fraser.  Mrs. Chonco didn’t hold back, “He’s a total lecher!” she shrieked.   “Do you know Sandy, he has a bed in his office where he conducts his relations and when the girls go looking for him in the afternoons the door is always locked.  I worry that he will pilfer my daughter’s virginity and she won’t be able to wear a white dress to the matric dance.  Look at him with his *buka mina pants and his fancy leather jacket.  Aagh sies man!”

Not all parents were ready to sing from the same hymn sheet.  Emerging from her husband’s Lamborghini, sporting a leather micro-mini and barely there boob-tube, Jilly Bertinelli the stilettoed Joburg yummy-mummy flicked her long blonde extensions appearing only too happy to voice her ardent support for Hatton-Jones.   Fresh out of a **mansoek degree from Stellies and not much older than her spotty uniformed stepdaughter, Mrs. Bertinelli had this to say: “I mean the man’s a babe.  He’s giving me legit silver fox vibes.  Who could resist hey?  Sorry doll, but if I was still in school, close your ears Gemma, I’d be singing in the choir and sending him boobie shots from the bird hut.  Yes I know all about the bird hut Gemma, that’s where all you girls go to smoke.” 

When faced with questions about his professionalism and extracurricular activities Hatton-Jones simply shrugged and responded that he was frequently tired in the afternoons and needed to take an extended nap between morning lessons and evening practices with the choir and vocal ensemble.  Yes it was true he had a bed installed in his office but he had cleared it with the school nurse following a lengthy consultation with her whilst her husband was out of town attending the IEB annual conference. 

Hatton-Jones wished it known that he has a very bad back which needs to be rested on occasion and the moaning heard by the girls was because of the agonising pain he was in.  On numerous occasions Hatton-Jones required the services of Mrs. Cheryl Byres, the school bookkeeper who apart from being a wizard at balancing the accounts was a highly skilled massage therapist.  Mrs. Byres was unavailable for comment however Mr. Byres, her husband, maintained that although he had not yet caught Mr. Byres en flagrante it was only a matter of time as she had seriously upped her lingerie game and this alone convinced him that Hatton-Jones was indeed fucking his wife.  Although he vehemently denied stringing up the banner.

When asked for comment, the headmaster stressed that this was an internal matter which would be handled by the St Agnes management and, if deemed necessary, would be referred to the Board of Governors.

While there remained much speculation over whose husband had made the banner, many wives agreed that the sacking of Hatton-Jones would be the most devastating setback in educational history since Fiona Viotti was axed from Bishops.

*Buka mina: Zulu for “look at me!” As in: Jeff pulled up in his Ferrari, climbed out in skinny jeans, salmon Polo shirt and sunglasses then adjusted his toupee and sucked in his gut — what a buka mina!

**Mansoek degree: Afrikaans for “man-seek” degree. As in: Tanya spent four years at Stellenbosch, officially studying B. Comm, but really earning her Mansoek degree- graduating cum laude with a 3-carat diamond on her left hand.

The post Whose wife is Brett Hatton-Jones F***ing? appeared first on Knobble Hill News.