What started as a relaxed evening of live music in Mist & Drizzle Pub at Knobble Hill Hotel, quickly descended into chaos, flying fists, and a dramatic table-top outburst, as an overzealous patron, an outraged musician, a brawling chef, and a shrieking bystander turned the event into a scene worthy of a low-budget action film.
Newly appointed events manager Jo Cooper, keen to bring live entertainment to The Mist, had booked her friends Les McQueen and Tony Cludeo, a duo who went by the name Crème Brûlée. Everything was going well until Jon Bosman, a local pub enthusiast and connoisseur of bad decisions, decided that it would be a good idea to pinch the backside of a 15-year-old girl who was playing pool.
Unfortunately for him, the girl in question was the daughter of lead-singer McQueen and within seconds, the evening’s setlist changed from soft rock to kung fu fighting. The furious musician confronted Bosman, leading to a heated exchange that might have ended there- if not for Chef Stuart Scott-King, a man known more for his right hook than his culinary skills. Scott-King decided to deck the band member, knocking the glasses clean off his face.
“Everybody stop fighting! I hate this!”
This prompted Cludeo, the larger of the two musicians- a man built like a walk-in freezer, to intervene. The fight spilled onto the outside deck, where the monster musician shoved the chef to the ground with a force that rattled the pub windows.
Witnessing his chef sprawled out on the pavement, pub manager Nick Dunstan-Smith decided it was his time to shine. With the fearlessness of a man who had clearly overestimated his own strength, he leapt onto the back of the enormous drummer in an ambitious but ultimately doomed attempt to strangle him. The band member, unfazed, simply flipped Nick off his back, sending him crashing down like a bag of mielie meal.
Seeing Dunstan-Smith on the ground, Chaz, the 14-year-old son of the Cludeo, decided to get stuck in as well. In a move straight out of a 16th century shin-kicking contest, he laid into the back of Dunstan-Smith as many times as possible before being dragged off by the manager’s girlfriend Tosca Perissinotto.
It was at this moment that Mist & Drizzle regular and Knobble Hill News’ own sub-editor Matthew le Cordeur could take no more. Jumping onto an outdoor table, he flung his arms into the air and shrieked, “Everybody stop fighting! I hate this!” in what witnesses later described as the most dramatic display of pacifism since the 1960s.
The unexpected theatrics worked.
The enormous band member, suddenly overcome with regret, began apologizing profusely, particularly to Dunstan-Smith, begging him not to call the police. He stated that he was already on parole for previous assault charges and could ill afford another misdemeanor.
Meanwhile, Chef Scott-King, who had very clearly thrown the first punch, attempted to deny any involvement. Despite multiple eyewitnesses and the fact that he was still wearing his chef’s jacket, making him the easiest suspect to identify in the entire ordeal.
When things calmed down and the bar staff had cleaned up the broken glass, Jo Cooper announced that the night, despite the small scuffle, had been a huge success.
The Mist & Drizzle patrons agreed that it had been the most entertaining night in Knobble Hill that year.